Tuesday, July 28, 2009

painful anniversary???

dunno what to say...today is our anniversary...but i cried all day...since 12.00 last night....dunno what to say....

a lot things happen in a day....painful n hurt....mix in one...wow!!!! can't believe this thing happen in our anniversary....don't want to believe but it already happen....

by the way....happy anniversary....to me n...

i hope this thing wouldn't happen again...first n last...this is a painful anniversary..i will remember it forever....i hope i can live with this pain if it happen again....

God...if something happen to me...pls give ur blessing to all people who love n care for me....

p/s happy anniversary baby d~

-xoxo-

congratulations!!!!

last night....i call my baby d...aku xtahan dgn ape yg aku fikir....aku baca blog tu abis2...sedih nye aku xdpt share sume tu dgn die...sedihnye aku xdpt panggil die bulan...sedihnye....

tpi aku gembira sebab ade org leh share dgn die...aku happy sgt2...n org tu pun panggil my baby d bulan die....worth....that the important of sharing...me??? i don't i guess....baby d selalu ckp yg kitorg ckp mcm ayam ngan itik...so i can't read baby d...tpi aku bersyukur sbb ade org yg faham die....even what i said is a burden to me...aku rela semata-mata nak tgk baby d bahagia....

mungkin aku bodoh sbb cemburu buta...org dah explain pun tpi aku masih nak bangkitkan hal ni...aku xleh...aku check blog tu satu2...bnyk link dorg...dgn ex2 die pun ade...dgn chip tu pun ade...ntah la....lantak la...aku xnak ingat ape2 lepas ni....

aku bkn jahat tpi aku sedih sgt2...sejak aku bersemangat kembali ni la first time aku rasa sgt2 down....even tgh tulis ni pun aku leh nangis...aku benci keadaan ni....biarlah..jgn pedulikan aku....
aku boleh hidup walaupun aku lupa semuanya....asalkan hidup dan tidak menyerah...i can build my life back...i know i can walaupun sakit....

d~ i love u so much....klu ini harga yg terpaksa b bayar sbb pernah wat d merana dulu b redha....cuma b doa dgn Tuhan supaya kurangkan sikit beban yg b tanggung...b xnak nangis hari2 tiap masa...its not worth crying 4 u...u r juz an ordinary human being....the different is i love u....tu je....

congrats to me...senyum dalam sengsara....

no love no hug....i don't deserved it....

important????

juz a guess...what means important???

someone said that i'm a very important person in their life...but...it huz but...why they do such thing...sharing with someone else n not with me??? caring 4 someone else n not with me???? ifeel down...so sad....bkn aku x syg die....aku syg dia...tpi dia xpernah nak buat sume tu dgn aku...dulu mcm tu jgk....

sume ni punca dari blog...dulu, die share dgn ex die...skrg die wat dgn org lain lak...nape bkn dgn aku??? am i not an important person?? dia ckp i love u to me...but sharing the feeling with someone else....ape jgk tu??? aku xfaham ape2....mang la aku ckp aku ok...xde ape2...tpi realitinya...aku sgt2 terasa dgn ape yg die wat....mang la die ckp kawan...aku leh terima tpi ntah la...hati aku sakit...aku seperti xde makna dlm hidup dia....aku menangis sbb aku sgt xleh terima ape yg die wat ni....die ckp aku x percaya die...aku percaya die....aku percya die sgt2 tpi jgn la wat mcm ni....leh share dgn org lain....smpi bila aku nak tahan klu die asyik ckp ape yg die tulis kat blog tu tipu??? abis ape yg betul??? ape yg perlu aku percya?? aku sgt2 keliru...

xpernah aku balik dari gym dkat kul 1 pagi...umi abah marah sgt2...tpi aku xleh...sepanjang aku wat fitness kat gym tdi aku nangis...ntah la...mgkn aku cuba berlagak mcm xde ape2...tpi hakikatnya lain...hati aku tersentuh jgk....aku sgt sygkan dia....org lain tau die bulan..tpi aku?? bru tau tdi yg die tu bulan...ape maknenye ni???? die sentiasa nak wat aku keliru dgn identiti die...klu sygkan aku jgn wat mcm ni....bila dia wat mcm ni seolah-olah aku ni x berharga...hurm..biar lah...ape2 pun aku sgt2 berterima kasih padanya...sbb dia sudi menyayangi diri ini....

wat baby d....terima kasih sebab sudi syg b....u r the best...i tried to be strong but i couldn't....i'm a total disaster....but i won't give up....even i lost u...u r still the one i love....even i don't remember u tomorrow...juz know that i love u.....

-xoxo-

~baby b~