-Hiatus Mode-

Hai minna!!!!!
i'll be on hiatus from 2/11/2011 until 3/12/2011 due to my work condition....
i'll be a month hiatus so i guess this is semi-hiatus...

i'll be missing my blog and most importantly all of u who always visit my blog...

thanks for always be so supportive!!!!!

Gomen~

gomen minna!!! i'm really sorry coz i went hiatus for a few days!!!
i'm juz busy with daylife work n everythings makes me have no time to post anything....
SORRY~~

Make it Clean

What it supposed to mean??? nobody knows as if tomorrow is going to rain.....

Why i'm posting this title...i really dunno..actually tonite i'm bit dizzy n bit confused bout myself...about my work and everything...then i'm decided something crazy about this weekend...i'm going to KL for a fan meeting with other Arashian at Red Box, The Gardens (next to Mid Valley)...what is crazy about this that i already buy a ticket but i'm still not sure wheather i'm going or not....what the hell am i thinking????


Never mind...calm down..i'm sure there'll be an explanation to all my action tonite...n back to what i'm currently doing since yesterday...i try so many times downloading Arashi's Scene Dome DVD but this download file keep failed...it really makes me pissed off!!! but never mind...i keep trying until i'm done....



last but not least....3 days more until Arashi's Ninomiya Kazunari's tanjoubi!!!! can't wait to celebrate it...how will Arashi's member celebrate Nino's birthday this year??? sa...wakkanai ne~~ but!!! we have to wait rite?? lastly this month Arashian will be in crazy mood because of the Dome DVD that will be out soon!!!! yatta!!!

what ever is it...keep urself safe n always think about ur health...Arashian saiko!!!!

p/s...all this post above is not mentioning someone...it is only my bakaness in this late nite..

To Be Honest...

as the title said...i want to make a confession....yes..i do miss you...so much..but i have no guts to said it out loud...coz i'm scared to be embaressed...u already have ur own life..happily beside her that u love so much...

i'm juz ur ex who suddenly misses u...gosh!!! what should i put it...RINDU...more like that la...why do i suddenly feel this way...i dont know...maybe becoz i listening to more love song lately....hurm...why i feel like this?? i have no right..didn't i...i'm out from ur life...we have nothing to be memorise...i'm sorry...juz so sorry...

i can't help it...i have to said it...at least write it in here....now i can let go that "MISS" feeling...i guess.....enough is enough (more to me)...

***********************************

schedule for tomorrow is...oh no!!!! i have another wedding!! shit!! almost forget....well...working day n get marry? sure there are less of people tomorrow...pretty sure of it...

i'm alone at home...juz with my parent...kira jadi anak tunggal la...hehehehehee...finally i got that feeling...n juz a lil' bit sad coz my kitten had been thrown away by my uncle...thank u so much dear uncle....atashi hoshii koroshimasu anata.....feel so mad at him right now!!!! i love that kittens!!!!

another day in my life had been passed n i can't wait for tomorrow....

ja~ mata ashta...

p/s...Arashi mood - One Love, Love So Sweet & A Day in Our Life (song by Arashi)

onto ni omedetto!!!

heheheehhe....tahniah abah!!!! ari ni hari jadi abah yg ke-? x tau la jgk...hehehehehehe....umi ckp mlm ni potong kek je..t ari sabtu bru wat majlis sambutan...hehehehehe...syg jgk mak aku tu kat bapak aku....

yg wat aku happy lagi...abah aku yg sibuk pasal graduation day aku....aku leh wat xkisah jer....hehehehehe....lucu jgk bile smlm die tnya bju aku 4 that day dah siap blum...die leh suruh siap aku g cri bju lagi...die yg bayar sume....adehh...semangat bapak aku ni...tpi ok la tu....xde la aku kelam kabut karang.....

smlm hari aku berjalan agak lancar....except 1 je...aku xleh text org coz aku xde cdit n hp aku lak wat hal....bile la aku nak dpt hp bru ni??? abah kata minggu ni...dah nak abis minggu dah ni....adehh....pening2....xpe sabar itu separuh dari iman....yg penting sabar insyaallah akan dpt....

esk aku kna wat preparation lak...4 our sport tournament....mental n physical kna ready....4 ari aku cuti...coach aku ckp gym tu sunyi jer....coach aku xtau aku g gym kwn die....hehehehehehe....klu die tau mampus aku kna marah.....sbnrnye, die rindu kat aku la tu....dah xde org die nak marah2 agaknye....sbnrnye...aku adalah org yg selalu kna marah dgn teruknye klu dgn coach aku tu...hehehehehe....tpi bagi aku xpe la.....die tu dah ade penyakit tua...hahahahahahaahaha!!!!!!!

i miss someone so much.....really missing that person....hurm....i wonder mcm mane la hari die smlm...ok ke x ok.....xtau la...i hope die akan ok je....miss u so much!!!!

aku happy sgt coz ari ni ari last aku ganti puasa aku!!!! yay!!!!!! pas ni boleh la aku aktif spt biasa...hurm...ape lagi aku nak tulis ek??? xde ape lagi kot...xpe la...pe2 hal t aku update lar....

-xoxo-peace!!!

aishiteru yo....

hurm...what should i start???

aku sgt sygkan sorg ni.....syg sgt2 kat my baby d....aku xdpt text die coz aku xde cdit...hurm...aku bca blog die...n i got confused...but as my routine...no asking.....hope i'm not the broken dreams....

well...juz want to say that aishiteru yo....means i love you....hehehehhe....pengaruh bahasa jepun....now i wonder....adakah die rindu aku??? ape yg die wat klu xdpt text aku??? die sihat ke??? mcm2 going through my head....hurm....

xpe la...now i'm starting my day by miss my baby d~

-xoxo-peace!!!! tsukida a.k.a LOVE

training....

latihan....training...same jer...huhuhuhu!!!!!

hurm....esk ade training...aku xtido lagi...aku bosan...aku rindukan seseorg....tpi...ah, lupakan...klu rindu bkn leh wat ape pun....

esk coach aku msti marah aku....gerenti beres nyer....ye la...lewat tido...dah la brape ari ni training dlm ujan...ade jgk la yg demam masa game nti...ishk!!! takut nyer!!!!!!!!hurm....team mate aku sume dah sepakat....klu menang nak wat trip g kl....alahai...kl je ke??? dorg xnak g tmpt yg jauh2...takut kna H1N1....adehh....pelik kwn2 aku ni.....aku ckp kat dorg elok lagi klu g pulau....atau pun g daki gunung....the result 50-50...sib baik jgk la kwn2 aku ni sume yg jenis tahan lasak...outdoor punya org...boleh la tahan....

aku bkn xnak g kl...tpi...xde ape la....hurm....tggl 2 ari je nak training...pas tu dah game...sgt2 takut sbnrnye....mana x nye...after 3-4 years aku stop sukan now i make a come back...aku takut je aku kekok nti....coach aku bnyk bagi semangat kat aku....dia ckp aku ni boleh cuma x yakin je...btul jgk ape yg die ckp tu....hehehehehehehehe...............

GANBATTE!!!!!!!!!!!! hehehehehehe....hurm....kaki dah kuat, bdn pun dah rasa ringan sket...tggl nak cekalkan hati n rilexkan minda....tu je....hehehehehe....ape2 pun...kitorg msti menang!!!!! klu x pun aku msti menang utk diri aku sendiri....mesti!!!! aku kna buktikan yg aku x lemah dan aku bkn siapa2...aku adalah AQIL!!!!

-xoxo-peace!!!!!!!!!!!!

GANBATTE MISERU YO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hilang...

tiba-tiba aku teringat lagu avril lavigne-when u're gone....

When you're gone

the pieces of my heart are missing you

When you're gone

the face I came to know is missing too

When you're gone

the words I need to hear

to always get me through the day

and make it ok

I miss you

aku seperti merasakan benda yg sama....kehilangan adalah lumrah...
kita bersedia dgn tidak...itu lah takdir....

takdir cinta-rossa.....lagu ini sgt pilu dan menyayat hati...masa aku putus dgn dia kali pertama dulu...aku dngr lagu ni...smpi skrg lagu ni masih jdi lagu favorite aku...aku masih ingat lagi antara lirik lagu ni....

andaikan ku bisa lebih adil

pada cinta kau dan dia

aku bukan nabi yang bisa sempurna

ku tak luput dari dosa

biarlah ku hidup seperti ini

takdir cinta harus begini

ada kau dan dia bukan ku yang mau

oh Tuhan tuntunlah hatiku

penguasa alam

tolonglah pegangi aku

biar ku tak jatuh pada sumur dosa

yang terkutuk dan menyesatkan cintaku

itulah antara lirik lagu yg sering wat aku menangis...hurm..smpi skrg kot...aku dah jarang dngr lagu tu...tpi tiap kali aku dngr aku msti menangis...ntah la...sgt2 touching lak lagu tu...

hurm...aku dngr lagu tu sbb mumy bagi kat aku..die kata.."bakhil, cuba qil dngr lagu ni...sedih btl..mumy suka lagu ni walaupun sedih..." mang..aku pon suka lagu ni walaupun sedih

d...aku sgt rindu dia...kebelakangan ni hubungan kami sgt hambar...tiada lagi keceriaan..hanya air mata menjadi peneman ku saban malam...aku rindukannya....dia? aku x tahu...aku harap dia rindukan aku jgk...aku sgt2 menanti kehadirannya dlm hidupku kembali....aku rindu nak dpt text dari die mcm dulu...hurm...tpi die xde cdit...web sms ade..ms pon ade..tpi xpe la...maybe connection die xok...

aku....seperti hari2 yg lain tetap mcm ni...bosan n sume perasaan bercampur-baur...xtau la...

tpi aku tetap bersyukur kerana aku masih lagi bernafas di atas muka bumi Allah ini....aku bersyukur kerana aku tahu mcm mana hendak mengubat hati yg luka berdarah...mengubat hati yg hancur....aku bersyukur kerana aku tahu....

hurm...nak tulis ape lagi?? aku pun dah blurr...next time i wrote again....

with another interesting topic lak k??

see u again...peace...

xoxo

i hate this feeling!!!!

i hate this feeling...rasa tidak berdaya dan putus asa...i feel it these recent days...
ntah la kenapa....
but i want to lose hope n i want to give up....sib baik aku masih ada iman dlm diri...
aku kuatkan hati dan perasaan ku....
air mata menjadi teman yg paling setia....

xtau la kenapa...aku kerap rasa mcm ni...mungkin sbb....aku rasa sgt2 tertekan....
aku bru je balik dari berjumpa doktor...n still...keadaan aku x berubah...
doktor dah xleh nak wat ape dah....teruknye sakit aku....

hurm...aku seperti hilang...aku x leh trus mcm ni...aku kna bangun...ya..aku harus bangun...
tpi...mcm mana???

dia...dia juga seperti ingin menghilangkan dirinya dari ku...entahlah...adakah mungkin disebabkan kesalahan yg telah ku lakukan terhadap dirinya??
oh Tuhan!! tidak!! aku tidak sanggup untuk berdepan dgn ini sekali lagi...tidak!!!! walaupun yg pertama itu aku tidak merasai nya tpi aku tau keadaan nya...sgt sakit dan pilu...

aku..satu jasad tetapi dua perwatakan...kadang2 bila aku hilang kawalan diriku yg lagi satu akan muncul...skrg dia makin kerap muncul....aku tahu kerana aku sering merasai kehadirannya..dia seperti memaksa aku menjadi sebahagiannya...ntah la....

aku dah xtau nak ckp ape lagi...ok la...
aku akan menulis lagi...

amor da vida....xoxo

new day....

assalamualaikum....

aku bgn sgt awal hari ni...maybe sbb smlm aku xleh nak meleapkan mata...aku pun xtau kenapa...selepas aku solat subuh pagi tdi, aku mulakan hari ku dgn mengemas rumah n so on...
after that, i'm bored..thats my rutin everyday....damn bored!!!

aku tercari-cari rancangan yg best untuk aku tgk pagi ni...none...so i decide..DVD..yup!!!
aku tgk DVD tu smpi aku terlelap(ngantuk lagi ni)...kul 8, aku terbgn coz the twins already here!!! (ila2!!! angun ami mau andi!!!!!) mcm tu la lebih kurang cra dorg ckp tu...
hur...aku dgn malasnye pegi la mandikan bdk2 tu...x pasal2 aku dimandikan sekali....selepas dorg mandi dan aku pakaikan bju, aku pun mandi...rasa segar lak mandi tdi walaupun kul 5 pagi tdi aku dah mandi....

after that, aku wat nasi kuning untuk bdk2 tu mkn...xbnyk pun..cukup lah sekadar menghilangkan keinginan ku yg hendak mkn n utk mknn satu family....selesai je aku msak, bdk2 tu pon mkn ngan aku sekali...heheheheheh...sedap jgk aku masak...tpi x lawan my mum masak la....

skrg aku dah rasa ngantuk...heheheheh...tu la...mkn xingat...xpe la..aku rasa selepas aku sakit berapa lama ni bru tdi aku berselera mkn...tpi skrg aku rasa mcm nak vomit...owh God!!!

aku akan menulis lagi...owh aku lupa seperkara lagi....aku rindu dia...sgt2 rindu...smlm aku smpt chat dgn dia...cukup la untuk menghilangkan rasa rindu sikit...tpi aku tetap rindu dia...aku baca blog die jap tdi...hurm..i wonder what had happen to her smpi dia tulis mcm tu sekali....
aku harap dia x menyesal kerana berkenalan dgnku...aku syg dia....dia adalah segala-galanya bagiku...kepada dia, aku minta maaf jika selama ini aku ada menyakiti hatimu...aku tidak bermaksud begitu...andai ditakdirkan aku pergi dulu...aku harap masih ada lagi rasa kasihmu padaku kerana aku tetap mengasihimu sampai akhir hayatku....

aku rasa cukip setakat ini...bdk2 kembar tu pun dah terjerit-jerit memanggil namaku...hehehehe...biasa la tu...pantang aku hilang mesti dorg cari...ok la...

see you again...xoxo

-aku yg berharap-

sick...again???

hurm....i'm sick again....huh! sakit ni wat i cpat sgt penat...ntah la...
bru je balik dari hospital...hurm...teruk dah asthma ni...the doctor suh bnyk2 rehat...
i've been examine by 3 doctors...hehehehehehehe...all said the same thing...
rest...rest....n rest....hurm...if i can....

well...i miss her a lot today....n i can do nothing bout it....juz accept it...rindu dia...

sakit oh sakit!!! nape asyik dtg je??? peliknye la hai....heheheheheheheh....
tpi ok la tu...klu kite sakit...maknanye Allah masih ingat pada hamba-Nya....Syukur Alhamdulillah.....

thats it for now...i'll write again later k....

miss u a lot d!!!!

rindu

aku rindu sgt kat dia....tpi aku takut nak contact die...aku takut die xlayan...
ptg tdi aku beranikan diri...tu pun die layan jgk...aku tau die mcm xsuka aku ganggu die...tpi aku rindu....

die janji nak text aku pas die mkn ptg tdi...tpi aku tunggu smpi skrg...xde pun...xpe la...
aku paham..die xnak la tu....

aku terpaksa pendam lagi rindu aku ni...xpe la...aku sedar aku salah...
aku yg wat die jdi mcm tu....aku kna terima la akibatnye....

tpi...aku rindu dia amat sgt...aku nangis klu teringatkan die...ntah la....aku syg dia...
syg sgt2...hari ni...hari paling sakit yg pernah aku rasa....

hurm...d, b rindu d sgt2...bile d dah leh maafkan b...d text la...i always waiting 4 u...

the beginning..........

today is the beginning....how i want to change....
the starting at 5.30 a.m. this morning...i woke up for subuh prayer n take a rest a while...
maklum la...xbrpa nak sihat sgt....

n i try not to think much bout her...n what had happen yesterday....only God know how i miss her so much!!!!
i feel so lonely...i don't know...missing her make me fell lonely...

dear God...if this is a punishment for me...then i take it....
dear d....i really miss u...i don't know how i can make it without u....

now...i try to be normal...i really hope that our relationship can be normal again....

twins is here....

well....i nak g tau kat cni...about my love-the twins...
really love them so much...coz..they r so sweet n cute....
really closed to me n i jga dorg dari kecil lagi...hehehehehehe
sorg nama mohd.fauzi n mohd.fauzan ....tpi yg peliknye...
adik lagi nakal dari abg...abg ni lembut sket..adik die kasar...
tpi jgn buli dua2...coz they really care each other...hehehe....
i really miss both of them...dah lama xjumpe dorg...maybe esk kot i jumpe...

they r so funny n so sweet...sgt2 nakal n xsuka duduk diam...hurm....pelik btl...
nakal sgt2...terutamanye fauzan...fauzi tu lak kuat nangis...fauzan kuat merajuk...
fauzan sgt sensitif...fauzi cepat terasa....

both of them suka ngan my parent...so closed...especially with my umi...
maybe sbb umi yg jga dorg dari kecil...sbb dorg rapat ngan umi dorg rapat gak ngan kitorg...
so senang citer kitorg ni lah tmpt dorg bermanja...

at last....

i'm happy...at this hour...ade jgk org yg ingat kat i...
ann...i love u dear...hehehehehe...die ym i n said she miss me n ask me about sipadan...
at least ade gak org yg ingat i walaupun i jauh...

really miss them...zaty, haqim, ann, mumy n ayah...n especially..dear eid...
OMG!!!! MISS THEM SO MUCH!!!

ann g tau eid gone to TS... miss that place...
hopefully die xlupekan i bile die ke situ...
memorable place for both of us...

xpe la...hopefully i can meet them again n xde pun perasaan yg berubah between all of us...
one more thing is...
rindu nak kna buli walaupun ade masanye sensitif but...
really miss it...

missing....

my life is a mess lately....coz i miss someone terribly much...

n i don't know when i can meet her again...

well...one thing that i know...

i love her so much....

deep down in my heart...i realize there ie a space 4 her...

hurm....dunno what else i want to wrote....

i wrote nest time...

see ya next time k...