An Entry....

juz a normal entry for a girl who is busy with work....
the last 3 weeks become really hectic n chaos for me as i start working back.
now i don't have time to download n update more thing n news in my precious blog...
God..pls help me!!!! tatsukete kudasai!!!!!

what can i do??? i want to know more about them but i juz couldn't do it...internet connection which is very slow...n at my home there's no internet connection..how??? i juz blank with this new environment...
i want to watch their new regular show episode!!!!!

MISS ALL OF THEM SO MUCH...HOPE I CAN FIND A WAY TO RESOLVE THIS SITUATION....

FOR MY PAIN RELIEVE.....

lastly~~~ when can we see the Beautiful World concert?????

AM I CRUEL???

hurm...what should i do?? to prevent my heart to be broken again after i hardly cured it..i have to do that...i make a really big mistake juz now...hurm...gomenne fauzi...i speak harshly to him juz now...poor my little cousin...if u know how hard i keep this broken heart then u'll never done such mistake...i know u miss that person...u want to see that person..but i cant fulfill ur wish..n why on earth u make such wish?? i totally dont understand....

its ok u hate me now....one day u'll understand that me n that person are not meant to be together...i'm juz one of that person failed experiment...so let it be like that...when u grown up u'll understand many things...i'll always love u dear fauzi..."k.ila xda niat pun nak marah abg iji mcm tdi...tpi kan k.ila dah ckp jgn sentuh hp k.ila. napa degil?? dah tu abg iji g dail no tu napa??"....=(((

hurm...i'm really sad coz i have to do such thing to my lovely little cousin...hontou ni gomennasai....

p/s...to my heart, be strong. i'm a strong lady. i can endure this. its juz a little mistake n i can fix it...be strong. hold onto myself. i know i can do it....GANBATTE!!!

*mood* -SS501_LOVE LIKE THIS-

at last...

akhirnye...abis dah kesengsaraan selama 9 bulan...klu kna kat pompuan..dah bersalin agaknye...
ari ni...23/09/2010..adik aku selamat menghabiskan kertas UPSR terakhirnye...amin...

nama die pun amin gak...hehhehehe...ape pun..aku dah warning die awal2...pas ni die xleh ganggu aku dah...penat aku jadik bodyguard die...bkn ape..adik aku yg sorg ni hyper sket...so kna control bnyk...klu x...hurm...

ape2 pun skrg kna bnyk doa supaya die dpt 5A's straight....jdi lepas gak title dak nakal die tu....usaha dah, doa dah...skrg ni tawakal je...insyaallah..aku yakin die leh dpt...biar lah die jdi org yg pertama n last yg dpt excellent result in my family....

aku doa dia dpt kejayaan yg setanding dgn usaha die selama ini...segala penat lelah, kesengsaraan, paksaan smpi nangis tu...aku harap sgt dpt berbalas...biarlah giliran die plak merasa ape itu kejayaan selepas berusaha...

hurm...now back to me...not much...cume skrg kna berdoa bnyk2 agar sape2 yg ade sakit hati kat aku, marah or broken heart kat aku dpt maafkan aku...bkn ape...maybe tu penghalang rezeki...ye la..nak cari rezeki ni perlu berkat org lain jgk...mudah2an terbuka lah pintu hati dorg sume tu supaya dpt maafkan diri ni...

i hate this feeling!!!!

i hate this feeling...rasa tidak berdaya dan putus asa...i feel it these recent days...
ntah la kenapa....
but i want to lose hope n i want to give up....sib baik aku masih ada iman dlm diri...
aku kuatkan hati dan perasaan ku....
air mata menjadi teman yg paling setia....

xtau la kenapa...aku kerap rasa mcm ni...mungkin sbb....aku rasa sgt2 tertekan....
aku bru je balik dari berjumpa doktor...n still...keadaan aku x berubah...
doktor dah xleh nak wat ape dah....teruknye sakit aku....

hurm...aku seperti hilang...aku x leh trus mcm ni...aku kna bangun...ya..aku harus bangun...
tpi...mcm mana???

dia...dia juga seperti ingin menghilangkan dirinya dari ku...entahlah...adakah mungkin disebabkan kesalahan yg telah ku lakukan terhadap dirinya??
oh Tuhan!! tidak!! aku tidak sanggup untuk berdepan dgn ini sekali lagi...tidak!!!! walaupun yg pertama itu aku tidak merasai nya tpi aku tau keadaan nya...sgt sakit dan pilu...

aku..satu jasad tetapi dua perwatakan...kadang2 bila aku hilang kawalan diriku yg lagi satu akan muncul...skrg dia makin kerap muncul....aku tahu kerana aku sering merasai kehadirannya..dia seperti memaksa aku menjadi sebahagiannya...ntah la....

aku dah xtau nak ckp ape lagi...ok la...
aku akan menulis lagi...

amor da vida....xoxo

aku yang bersalah....

maafkan aku di atas keterlanjuran perbuatan ku...aku tidak maksudkannya....
aku harap suatu hari nti akan ada kemaafan bagi ku....

sekarang ni aku hidup di atas rasa bersalah....mang perit...aku seperti mahu mengalah...dan tdi aku hampir mengalah...aku tidak sanggup hidup kecewa sebegini....

tpi aku kuatkan tekad...demi dia yg aku sayangi dan aku harap masih menyayangiku...aku kuatkan tekad untuk berubah...menebus segala kesilapanku...

jika itu mampu untuk membuat dia tersenyum dan berkata "i miss u baby b".....